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Beverage breaks

It’s damn near sleeting outside right now, Portland is freaking out, and I could go for a warm frothy mug of peppermint hot chocolate.

Or this, from Cacao.

Sipping chocolate with soymilk, Cacao, downtown

Or what the hey, a giant pumpkin pie cocktail is pretty much the same thing.

Pumpkin Pie Mason Jar, Swift Lounge. Pumpkin infused vodka, house spiced syrup; hold the amaretto whipped cream. I had the smaller happy happy jar version of this special a few weeks ago and was thrilled to see it again on my next visit.

Also warming, from Wafu..

Sriracha Sazerac, Wafu. Rye, Herbsaint & Sriracha bitters. Intriguing, but underwhelming amount of heat.

Even better when you pair it with this:

Vegan Miso Ramen, Wafu. Added the "make it hot" option.

Classic.

Soy Latte, Fresh Pot on Hawthorne. Stumptown Coffee Roasters.

Classic, take 2.

Beer sampler, Bridgeport Brewing Pub. Tasting notes recorded in Gabrielle's notebook.

The type of thing that stays on your mind for far too long…

Peanut Butter Cookie Dough Milkshake, Chicago Diner. Because really, this was my favorite from our VVC trip to Chicago.

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February 29, 2012 9 Comments Short URL booze, Chicago, Chicago Diner, cocktails, drinks, portland, soylatte, Stumptown Coffee Roasters, Wafu

Long Weekending: Home-Cooking, Test Kitchen, Bay Leaf & BOH

I had a wonderful long weekend. It marked the first time since November I’ve truly had a free weekend to cook and bake in a relaxed manner, in addition to a couple of swell meals out of the house. There was no special occasion, I wasn’t prepping for a dinner party or the week ahead, I was simply in my kitchen. No rush required.

Here’s the weekend, foodwise, including the casual, pasta from Isa’s latest PPK test kitchen, a return to Bay Leaf, cookies, and the first BOH dinner.

CTate's Queso. This was the original version of the Food For Lovers queso. It's delicious. Do a google search for "ctate's queso" and you'll come across the recipe.

If all I eat are quinoa and black bean bowls covered with queso for the next week, it’s fine by me.

The following pasta meal is a dish from Isa’s latest book in progress, with the working title, “Isa Does It”. I skipped the toasted walnuts (dang you, potential allergy woes) and topped it with roasted sunflower seeds. I’ve been hooked lately.

Olive Angel Hair with Seared Brussel Sprouts

testing, testing

Chocolate Chip Cookies from Vegan with a Vengeance

note to self: look into a tablecloth you actually fancy

From lunch at Bay Leaf. I hadn’t been in quite some time, and my girlfriend had never. Their hot and sour soup and Sizzling Tofu is my go-to meal when I’m sick.

Springrolls

ah, delightful

Sometimes it’s nice to dine somewhere where the dishes stay the same, time after time. It’s even nicer to say that place is a vegetarian restaurant (somewhat) down the street.

Veggies Delight Noodle aka lo mein

The Dong Po Tofu lunch special and my obvious adjustment to a droid.

Most of the time, I crave variety in my dishes, and I choose to dine out because I desire the experience of new dishes, different cuisines, creative dining, interesting textures – everything I don’t, and probably can’t – try in my own little kitchen.

Dry Rosé, Winter’s Hill, Portobello’s kitchen

don't mind me, I'm a cellphone pic on a candlelit table...

Over the weekend, I was invited to attend the first BOH dinner at Portobello Vegan Trattoria, which never stopped impressing, course by course. It started with a miniature potato pancake smaller than my thumb, moved onto a kimchi and kumquat (among other things) adorned green onion pancake, on-wards to beet and pinenut-filled ravioli with blood orange sauce and moscatel syrup (and more), two more stunning courses (both on the plate and in my mouth), and this rarely ever happens with me, but my favorite of them all, if you forced me to pick, was the finale: a miniature slice of sweet potato bourbon pie, topped with housemade coconut ice cream and caramel sauce. Yeah. The full menu is on the facebook.

Of course, I was already a big fan of Portland’s vegan Italian spot and moan about gnocchi pretty much whenever it’s mentioned, but this experience was damn avant-garde. Bear with my phone photos, and head over to their facebook page for a full album of much higher quality.

don't mind me, I'm another cellphone pic on a candlelit table...

Up ahead, a thankfully short week ahead capped off with a visit from my sister from NYC, bagels in tow.

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February 21, 2012 2 Comments Short URL Bay Leaf, BOH Portland, cookies, fancy, Isa Does It, portland, Portobello Vegan Trattoria, restaurants, test kitchen, vegan queso, vwav

Raw Chocolate with De-hydrated – Modern Living Cuisine

It’s now been one month and one week of fresh young coconut withdrawals, and I’ve finally stopped tearing up as I glance at the $2.99 and up, flown-across-the-globe selections around town. It hasn’t been easy (well, the glaring price helps), but somehow, I keep my wallet in my bag. Recently, I caught myself staring at coconut photos in my Flickr and slowly realized, it’s beyond time I shared some of my winter vacation photos from SE Asia. And being that it’s the day after eat-chocolate-in-bed day, I finally knew where to begin.

Let me explain: during my travels, I attended three very different culinary classes: a vegetarian cooking class at Peace Cafe in Siem Reap, May Kaidee’s Cooking School in Bangkok, and Raw Chocolate Prep by De-Hydraded Modern Living Cuisine. I’ll get to the first two classes eventually, because I really want to tell the tale of my love affair with Cambodian Amok and so on, but for now, let me photo document some raw chocolate creations. The class was taught my friend, the charming Jennifer M. Robertson, who I’d met at Vida Vegan Con back in August. Ah, the VVC connection! Jen showed our class how to make a Thai-spiced chocolate smoothie, a rich chocolate torte with a well-textured coconut macadamia crust, assorted raw chocolate truffles, decadent bite-sized chocolate candies with a “royal” garnish, and be still my heart, young coconut-based dark chocolate ice cream with a candied cardamom-pistachio topping. Nearly everything used was organic, all dishes were prepared from scratch, and generous samples were provided of everything.

First up, a Thai-spiced chocolate smoothie with a base of frozen bananas and fantastic heat from local, organic chili peppers. When you ask a class in Thailand if they want their smoothie “spicy”, the response is going to be enthusiastically positive.

Looking back on this photo, I remind myself to breathe.

Starting the ice cream process

Ingredient display

For the tart crust.

Prepared raw macadamia and coconut tart crusts. This simply set for a short period of time before filling.

Raw cacao butter based truffles + green tea powder

Rollin’

Raw lucuma powder – so intriguing!

For the chocolate candies. The gold leaves are of a Buddhist design.

Set & adorned (these are clearly my jet-lagged examples)

Cacao nibs, crushed nuts and candied cardamom-pistachios: all raw toppings for the following treat…

Everything I sampled (damn new cashew allergy!) was so lovely, but the young coconut-based dark chocolate ice cream was tops and one of the most memorable flavors of my vacation.

My decorated tart, with dark chocolate mousse and torn flower petals

Jen takes her classes and retreats around the world. Check out the De-hydrated facebook for regular updates.

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February 15, 2012 7 Comments Short URL chocolate, cooking class, De-Hydraded Modern Living Cuisine, desserts, Jennifer M. Robertson, raw, raw chocolate, Thailand, travel, vegan

Brunchos & Joni’s Toffalo

From the people who brought you Totsgiving, the admirers of the dude pie, comes a new meal for those indulgent days you feel like a true liberal arts college gourmet: BRUNCHOS.

baked tator tots, vegan sausage gravy, cheesy sauce, tomato, avocado, Frank's Red Hot, baby spinach and pan-fried seitan bacon.

We all learned that it’s the perfect fare for that slightly belated day you watch Groundhog Day on repeat. The trio of greens, cheesy sauce and diced tomato truly bring that element of class to the presentation. The bacon seitan was a combination of these two recipes. I’ve got the slightly spicy and smokey flavor where I want it, but I’m not quite there with the red layer yet. Crispy bits, however, did their job above.

Brunchos…another tator tot revolution.

Joni's Tofallo Wings from Just The Food. Photo by Julia

In other awesome developments, last night’s post we-didn’t-watch-the-superbowl-celebration included Stellas with Julia and a baked version of Joni’s Tofallo wings, served with baby carrots, celery sticks and Spiral Diner Ranch for dipping. I added fine breadcrumbs, cayenne and garlic powder into the breading, baked at 400F for 20 minutes, flipped, and baked another 18 minutes at 425F, with decent spray oil canola action.

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February 6, 2012 4 Comments Short URL brunch, brunchos, friends, joni marie newman, party food, Sunny Days in Texas cookzine, tofu, tots

Food Porn Edition: Veggie Grill’s Pre-Opening in Beaverton & Anticipation

It’s about to get all food porn up in here.

But first, some related anticipation with not only a purpose, but hope for those of us stuck working downtown and tired of shuffling away without direction when our go-to food cart is closed for the owner’s family cat’s birthday (which I totally understand):

Good riddance, Carl's Jr! Veggie Grill's downtown location is scheduled to open in May 2012.

Sure, I felt positive about the opening of the first Northwest Veggie Grill location in Beaverton. I was incredibly stoked to receive an invitation to the pre-opening weekend event, especially after my indulgent weekend in LA, and just as glad to see ‘normal’ vegan food available from a casual chain nearby in Beaverton. I mean, once a year I seem to make the public transit trek to Uwajimaya, so figuring out a convenient stop with vegan nachos isn’t out of the question.

It makes me smile big time to pretend I’m 12, and to picture that kind of accessibility to 100% vegan food in a neighborhood suburban complex. I mean, the world is changing, no big deal.

Really, it is a big deal that a major fast food chain suddenly closed in a very central downtown location, and will be re-opening as a plant-based chain.

Selfishly, I remain damn stoked about ordered a Bayou Chickin’ sandwich and sweet potato fries for lunch by Spring’s end, and thrilled that vegans, vegetarians and curious (and convinced co-working) omnivores alike will all be able to place that very same order.

Away we go.

Here’s a look, all classic Stumptown Vegans style, at some dishes my friends and I ordered at the aforementioned pre-opening:

Sante Fe Crispy Chickin’ Burger [Gardein patty]

All Hail Kale Salad

Uptown Nachos [with Daiya-based sauce]

All-American Stack [with Gardein strips]

Papa’s Portobello Burger

Sante Fe Chickin’, full plate

Interior

Attention: Shoppers

Disclaimer: All dishes were complimentary at the pre-opening.

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February 1, 2012 7 Comments Short URL burgers, daiya, food porn, Gardein, portland, restaurants, stumptownvegans, Veggie Grill

Steamed Soy

I remain a broken record these last few posts. Reflections on my Southeast Asian travels, this past week’s VVC scouting trip to Chicago, and a Portland vegan nacho report (East End, Veggie Grill, etc.) are bound to come. I’m slowly compiling a list of my most memorable travel meals, and have been trying to recreate a few, as well. Khao Soi Noodles, Young Coconut Curry, Tom Yam, Tofu Larb and a ‘Wedding Dip’ in Siem Reap are all encouraging visits to Fubonn and eyerolls to food cart options. I’m now back in town for a few weeks solid, at the least, and caffeination has been at my side once I was able to stomach it in Portland once more…

From this weekend: cup of coffee, Chicago Diner

Equal Exchange beans & sugar

This past Autumn: Soy Cappucino, Cloud Seven Cafe

Intelligentsia

Just yesterday: Soy Cappucino [f] & Soy Latte [r], Fresh Pot downtown

Stumptown Coffee Roasters

The we’re-waiting-for-Sizzle Pie-to-open-for-brunch-pizza Soy Cappucino, Grendel’s Coffee House

Hilltribe coffee & steamed soy milk, Blue Diamond in Chiang Mai

The post Montavilla Farmers Market stop: Soy Latte, Bipartisan Cafe

Soy Latte, Public Domain Coffee

PD/Coffee Bean International

Soy Latte, Aliviar Coffeehouse

Maeve and I stopped here before the screening of My Own Private River with Gus Van Sandt and James Franco at the Hollywood Theater. Jitters. Swooning.

Soy Latte, Coffee Division

Stumptown Coffee Roasters

Lastly: more caffeination in Chicago. I picked up a pound of El Diablo Dark Roast from Intelligentsia’s Millennium Park Coffeebar on Monday.

Soy Latte, Intelligentsia in Millennium Park

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January 27, 2012 3 Comments Short URL cappucino, Chicago, Chicago Diner, coffee, coffeeshops, Intelligentsia, portland, soylatte, Stumptown Coffee Roasters, Thailand, travel

Veggie Grill Weekend, Day Two: Avocados & New Menu Items

The following is a continuation of menu food porn from my recent Veggie Grill weekend. This post hereby includes upcoming Veggie Grill menu items of the ‘fork and knife’ variety (brief pondering: Do you call it ‘knife and fork?’ Or is that phrasing simply more carnivorous?), a morning visit to the Hollywood Farmers Market, strolling the Venice Beach pier, more silly photos, and further anticipation for the Beaverton opening, just over a week away. Never before have I muttered a similar sentiment for this suburb, but I like to think I returned from my December travels lighthearted, open-minded, prepared to take public transportation wherever it may go (and in any language), and certainly, craving American-style vegan cuisine.

First up, I appreciate a hotel with a chilled pitcher of soymilk, ready to go.

You know, I should have gotten my hopes up (and denied my bladder) when I passed by this publicity poster in an upstairs room. I missed out on a Dolly Parton lobby-walk-by, by mere moments.

My time visit to the Hollywood Farmers Market.

Oh, California.

I picked up two new-to-me varieties of avocado: Bacon and Zutano.

We were serenaded by a Michelle Williams look-a-like in between produce stops.

Branded iced tea shots from a Ghostbusters-style backpack. So LA?

Moving on, we made it to the West Hollywood Veggie Grill, which I had lunched at last fall on my first visit to LA, for our second lunch tasting.

The full menu is here.

Here’s what we all came here for, the food.

Most importantly, we started again with nachos. Most definitely, I did not complain. I may have applauded. I’m not normally one for the D-cheese, but Veggie Grill uses it as a base in their nacho sauce, and it really works.

Uptown Nachos [Daiya-based sauce]

Sweetheart Chili Cheese Fries [Daiya-based sauce]

NEW: Bayou Chickin’ Caesar Wrap

Chillin’ Chickin’ Strips, Sweetheart Fries, Ranch and Sweet & Sour for dipping

Wait a minute!

Chickin’ nuggets, Chipotle Ranch (how I dig thee) and BBQ sauce

NEW: Buffalo Chickin’ Sandwich

Fun tidbit: all sandwiches are available wrap-style or served on a bed of kale

NEW: Chicken Fried Steak Plate [Gardein] with Mashed Potato & Cauliflower (aka Caulipots! Name credit: Isa Chandra Moskowitz), Steamed Kale and Porcini Caper Gravy

NEW: The Gluten-free Urban Plate with Grilled Portobello, Grilled Tempeh, Caramelized Onions, Steamed Kale (aw, yeah!), Chipotle Ranch (yeahyeahyeah!), Tomatoes with Basil and Guacamole

NEW: Chocolate Pudding Parfait with Crushed Oreos and Sour Cream Frosting

Our Sunday tasting club: Terese from Veggie Grill, Janessa, Webly, myself and Veggie Grill ‘s “Food Man” himself, Ray.

One last look – surely, that’s a celebrity power couple clandestinely dining on the patio. It would be almost exciting as realizing Daryl Hannah was sitting behind us the day before in a series of ridiculous pudding photos.

Farewell, Hollywood!

Hello, Venice Beach…

After a week back in rainy Portland, I admit, I missed reading on the beach.

If only there was a rum-based cocktail in a coconut available in place of $3 PBRs. Isn’t this the land of $2 buck Chuck?! The red is vegan-friendly, btw.

With that, we were on our way back to Portland -

Avocados & lemons in tow

I also had some Nicobella chocolates in my bag to sample back home.

On the downside, the mysterious Michele’s take out did not make it home with her.

More discussion coming soon to Stumptown Vegans, in addition to photos and menu tales from next week’s pre-opening event in Beaverton. Check out their website and facebook for Portland AREA opening information. I’m out.

As for me, I’ll be in Chicago for the first time with the VVC gals this weekend (please share any tips!), and I’m focused on hushing my inner New Yorker about the idea of an authentic, deep dish pizza.

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January 18, 2012 5 Comments Short URL California, daiya, fake meat, FarMar, farmer's market, friends, Gardein, Hollywood Farmers Market, restaurants, stumptownvegans, travel, Veggie Grill, Venice Beach Pier

Veggie Grill Weekend: Day One

Veggie Grill: Day One. Everyone's ready to sample 4 different vegan burgers, right?

While I could sit here for hours and slowly being to photo document my December-long travels in Southeast Asia, deciding the next day’s destination on a whim, sleeping in a bamboo hut alongside a river, attempting to rock a saree at a Sindhi wedding, watching the sunset from the steps of ancient ruins, or the young coconut curry that changed my life, and so on…well, I’m almost ready. First, however, comes the story of my satisfying weekend in Los Angeles.

No holds barred, here’s the gist: mere days ago, I was one of a few lucky-ass Portland bloggers flown down to LA (what!) for lunch tastings at Veggie Grill. I’ve been twice before, in West Hollywood and Irvine, and was a fan, and frankly, I thought the email I half-read while waking up in Thailand sounded too good to be true: Meet & Greets with founders? Cocktail hour with the CEO? Special lunch tastings and previews of upcoming menu items? Traveling with friends? Were they taking vegan bloggers seriously? Would we take ourselves too seriously?

The departure for the overnight whirlwind was less than a week after my arrival back home, and my jet lag was only just fading, but I was in.

Again, the day was incredibly satisfying. It began with an early morning flight and quickly moved onto an extensive lunch tasting of the classic Veggie Grill menu items, while meeting with the co-founders, a visit to The Getty, haute cocktails with the CEO at The Bazaar, and later on, our off-site dinner at Mao’s before collapsing in bed watching Chelsea Lately.

I’ll be sharing more from our second day, including new menu items, and any news about the Portland area locations that comes my way soon, as well as in-depth thoughts on the food itself over at Stumptown Vegans with Webly.

As for the first restaurant opening in the Northwest (which includes Beaverton, Portland and Seattle), expect the Beaverton Veggie Grill to open its doors the last week of January, followed by downtown Portland later this Spring.

The following are photos from the day, in order. You can download the current menu on their website.

It all started with our ride for the weekend, Lonnie, as joined by Janessa:

Cookies in the car for breakfast!

Get ready…

Get set…

Go!

Uptown Nachos. We were treated to plates of these as lunch starters on both days, and I am not complaining.

Buffalo Wings [Gardein] and Ranch with celery

All Hail Kale Salad with roasted corn salsa and agave-roasted walnuts

New favorite breakfast = leftover kale salad!

Refreshment break: Iced Pomegranate Green Tea

The burgers begin…

Bayou Chickin’

El Dorado Style VG-Cheeseburger

Classic VG-Cheeseburger

Sweetheart Fries and my beloved Chipotle Ranch

Quinoa Mac-N-Cheese with Garlic Breadcrumbs [Daiya-based]

You may think we were done sampling, but as the lovely Janessa showcases, we had more to come…

A few bites of dessert, perhaps?

Carrot Cake, Chocolate Tofu Pudding & Walnut Chocolate Chip Cookie

“That cookie is just asking to be dipped in pudding” – Julia

It’s rare that my photo will included, but you guys….Janessa took a pudding photo series, and I wanted to share my favorite.

The end! Of Saturday’s lunch tasting, that is.

Smiling bloggers & The Veggie Grill Founders & CEO

Ordering is counter-style at all Veggie Grills

Even as co-founder, Kevin’s cravings are relentless….

After our first lunch tasting on Saturday, we headed off to The Getty for some wandering.

Not to mention a lot of close calls on these extended steps -

Cruising down Rodeo Drive may not have been a dream come true, but I like to think we were filming the opening sequence for some awful reality show that will never make it on air. I am not signing a release.

Later on, we digested and went for a cocktail hour at The Bazaar at the SLS.

I ordered the “New Way” Dirty Martini with Belvedere, on the right. Naturally, I could not pass up the chance for a burst of olive spherification and foamy olive brine air. I mean, come on.

Our group also experienced two table-side liquid nitrogen creations, including Michele’s Caipirinha and Webly’s Shirley Temple, pictured below. This series simply reminds me that I’m back from vacation and a new camera is totally on my back-to-life for a bit wish list.

This may have been the least dramatic of the hotel bathrooms used over the weekend, and yet I wondered such things as…just where will the water go in these sinks? Can people see through these stalls?

Hours later, with cocktails (and mocktails) sipped, we headed to Mao’s Kitchen for dinner. When Michele recommends a restaurant in LA, let alone a vegan-friendly Chinese restaurant, I’m in.

Fried noodles and sweet dipping sauce

Janessa and I split an order of the People’s Potstickers to start, filled with black & woodear mushrooms, smoked tofu and minced bok choy.

Next up to our table was a Peasants’ Onion Pancake. Not my type of dish due to our enemy status, but the ladies seemed to enjoy it.

Our crispy Beijing Spring Roll was $1. Enough said.

Tofu Fried Rice

Long-life Beans with Tofu

Hong Kong Chow Mein

HOLY CRAP, ROAMING, COULD-BE-FAMOUS, CARTOONISH FOOD CART ALERT!!!!1!!11!!

Day Two is up next. Go fawn over the menu some more til then.

Disclaimer: All lunch dishes were provided for by Veggie Grill, of which I have no contractual affiliation. I simply really enjoyed this outrageously fun weekend.

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January 11, 2012 12 Comments Short URL american, chinese, daiya, fast, friends, Los Angeles, Mao's Kitchen, products, restaurants, review, stumptownvegans, travel, Veggie Grill

Departing for Thailand, Laos & Cambodia…

Heat tolerance, you ain't seen nothing yet.

In a matter of mere hours, I’ll be en route to Bangkok via LAX (insert Ana Lucia reference here) and Tokyo, for my first multi-week vacation in years, across Southeast Asia. Magically, my vacation is only partially scheduled, as the core intention is to attend a college friend’s wedding, after which I’m heading to northern Thailand with another college friend to spend time with her family, followed by a few days of relaxation in Laos, a flight to Siem Reap, on-wards in Cambodia and back to Bangkok.

As I type this, I’m contemplating what t-shirts and sundress (and nutrition bars, Dr. Bronners and emergency bag of nooch) I want to spend the next month with, and hoping my back survives while my mind and tastebuds are blown.

If you have any recommendations, please, do share. You can also email me at GetSconed AT gmail.com.

I’m sure I’ll return with photos galore in 2012, but for now, if you wish to peer into my adventure, here’s my silly travel blog (which led me to realize how many times I’ve abandoned a baby tumblr in the past – we’ve all been there), inspired by an inside joke with my brother and my friend, Bahar. Time will tell if I keep it up…

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December 6, 2011 9 Comments Short URL Cambodia, Laos, Thailand, travel, vacation

Special Guest: Meet Spike

Since I was busy elsewhere during MoFo month, I asked some special friends to help out over here. We’re a little behind schedule now, but I’d like to make an important exception for Senior Fluffypants, I mean, SPIKE, who has a whole lot to say about nooch, organic ‘nip and living with a diva roommate…

Guest Post: Spike

Friend: Luciana, It’s Raining Kale

Hey there,

I’m Spike.

I live in Maryland with my sister Sugarpaws (aka Twinkletoes, Sweetie Pie, aka WHATEVER), a couple of humans, and one diva of a dog.

I'm pretty sure she picked this out herself.

The humans and dog spend a lot of time outside. We went out there once, it’s nothing special. I don’t know why they’d want to go out there when there are perfectly good places to scratch, roll around, and sleep in the house. Plus, the catnip is organic, and it is awe-some.

awwwsooome

My mom keeps buying these weird toys, but I’d much rather play with pieces of wicker I break off from the laundry basket, random leaves that make their way into the house, or my absolute favorite–broccoli soccer. I can tell mom likes it too, because she gets all excited and starts clapping when she finds us playing it in the kitchen. Mostly I just like hanging out.

My favorite food is nutritional yeast. It’s extra tasty on toast and Popcorn, but our mom saves the last corner of her toast so we can grab it from her plate. The toast part is kind of meh. We usually leave that on the carpet or just chase it around.Tortilla chips are also pretty good–nice and salty, but kale and houseplants are delicious. I’d give them five paws each, but I only have four.

I love it when bags of people food come in the house because it means we get to nibble on fresh green leaves! Sometimes I also like a few bites of the dog’s food. It’s okay, but I’m not that into all the vegetables. It is in nice little pieces, though.

My sister is pretty cool, but she is really, really interested in the humans. She loves rolling around on them, getting them to pet her and stroke her with that insane looking thing they call a brush. Get this–sometimes she even spends hours sleeping on them! Whatever shakes her catnip–I guess.

Who does this?!

Don’t get me wrong, I like hanging in the room with my mom, but I prefer lounging under the coffee table and catching an occasional toe to nibble on. When I get too close, mom tries to brush me, hug me, or starts speaking in this ridiculous voice and calling me “Senior Fluffypants.” Do I look like a Fluffypants? I like hanging with her, but something about that lady is just not right. I do let her scratch me behind the ears now and then, but only when I feel like it.

Sophisticated, so very sophisticated.

Now, let me tell you about this dog. She barks a lot and is always trying to sniff our tails. What a weirdo! Sometimes she’ll chase us, then scream, turn around, and run the other way. I’ve never even shown her my claws, so I do not know what her damage is. You didn’t hear this from me, but I’ve even seen her taking joyrides when the humans leave the house.

I keep thinking they’ve gotten rid of her, but the one with the deep voice keeps bringing her back. I tell you what, I am tired of sharing my house with this whiny little b…uh-oh, I gotta run, my mom is back and I’m not supposed to be using the internet without permission. If she asks, I was sleeping the whole time.